By Library and Archives Canada
Library and Archives Canada
Weddings:
Legal Requirements
Marriage was a public matter, bringing together friends and families. Marriage was also a legal issue. While laws varied slightly between Upper Canada and Lower Canada and over time, it was important to the state to regulate marriage.
Wedding announcement of Mr. T. Graham Mathers and Miss Jessie D. Waugh, married on Wednesday, Oct. 12, 1892. Winnipeg, Manitoba. (October 12, 1892) by UnknownOriginal Source: http://data2.collectionscanada.gc.ca/e/e333/e008312211-v8.jpg
Courtship: Courting in the Community
Canada in the 19th century was more a place of villages and small towns than it is today, although over the course of the century, cities expanded. While there was some movement as European settlers moved into new territory, established communities tended to be more stable than they are today.
Children were born into strong networks of extended family and neighbours. Young people went to school and church together, socialized together, participated as a group in picnics, sleigh rides or dances, and mixed with older and younger relatives and friends. Gradually, as they matured, couples formed within a group and began to marry.
Letter from Margaret Thompson to William Donnelly, Biddulph Township. December 24, 1873. Three pages. Letter from Margaret Thompson to William Donnelly, Biddulph Township. December 24, 1873. Three pages. (December 24, 1873) by Margaret ThompsonLibrary and Archives Canada
For the young couple, courtship meant developing a "special friendship" at a deeper and closer level. The stakes were very high. Marriage was a permanent relationship that aligned two families. It carried strong economic and social expectations and was therefore not to be taken lightly (although some couples undoubtedly did just that).
Letter from Margaret Thompson to William Donnelly, Biddulph Township. April 30, 1873. Three pages. Letter from Margaret Thompson to William Donnelly, Biddulph Township. April 30, 1873. Three pages. (April 30, 1873) by Margaret ThompsonLibrary and Archives Canada
A couple was encouraged to take their time and be certain they were making the right choice.
Courtship:
Rituals of Courting
Traditionally, in England and some other European countries, "walking out" was a declaration of something close to engagement. It was formal and ritualized and made a public declaration that this twosome was indeed a couple.
In Canada, going for a walk together was a chance for privacy in public, spending time in conversation and getting to know each other better. Library and Archives Canada has a series of delightful prints of a courting couple on a sleigh ride and sledding at Montmorency Falls in 1868. Such occasions were public enough to be "proper," but private enough for emotional intimacy. Small gifts were exchanged by courting couples. In Québec City, for instance, Honorine Tanswell gave her suitor, George Stephen Jones, a song she had written. He gave her a ring (not an engagement ring), for which she needed parental permission to accept. She gave him a seal for his watch chain and a pencil case.
The Meeting:
Mary and Amédée
Their story starts with an exile.
Amédée's father, Louis-Joseph Papineau, was a leader in the Rebellion of Rebellion of 1837 in what was then Lower Canada. When the rebellion collapsed, the Papineau family went into exile. Amédée, the eldest son, stayed with family friends in Saratoga, New York, where he taught French at a girls' school.
Journal entry by Amédée Papineau mentioning Mary Westcott. Monday, August 3, 1840. Microfilm volume 33, p. 36. (August 3, 1840) by Louis-Joseph-Amédée PapineauOriginal Source: http://data2.collectionscanada.gc.ca/e/e333/e008316295-v8.jpg
In Saratoga, Amédée met the Westcott family, and over the course of the year 1840, he got to know James Westcott's young daughter, Mary Eleanor. He was 22; she was 19 and one of his students.
Mary and Amédée: A long and difficult courtship
Amédée returned from France to Saratoga in June 1843 to face Mary's father, James, who was anything but pleased to learn of their attachment. Mr. Westcott insisted that they wait four or five years to become engaged. His principal objection to the young man was his Roman Catholicism. The Westcotts were Presbyterian, and Mary's father did not want her to have to renounce her beliefs.
Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. June 30, 1843. Four pages. Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. June 30, 1843. Four pages. (June 30, 1843) by Mary WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
Letter from James R. Westcott to Mary Westcott, Saratoga Springs. May 25, 1845. Four pages. Letter from James R. Westcott to Mary Westcott, Saratoga Springs. May 25, 1845. Four pages. (May 25, 1845) by James R. WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
Mary and Amédée: A serious concern
Was this the real reason for their trouble? Perhaps. It was certainly a serious concern. Mary herself raised doubts about whether they could manage their religious differences. Another clue could lie in a letter written by James Westcott in June 1845, after the couple had become engaged. Amédée pressed for an early wedding date, and Mr. Westcott was passionately distressed.
Letter from James R. Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. June 20, 1845. Three pages. Page 3 of 3. (June 20, 1845) by James R. WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
Your letter of [June 15] reached me today, the contents of which cause me many, and painful emotions. The separation from my daughter at any time, would make my heart to bleed, but the time you mention, so close at hand, I cannot even give it a thought. (JW to LJAP, June 20, 1845)
Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, New York. May 28, 1845. Four pages. Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, New York. May 28, 1845. Four pages. (May 28, 1845) by Mary WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
The Challenges:
Separated by Distance
Long-distance relationships are always difficult-but even more so in the 19th century than today, because the only means of communication was by letter. However, we have Mary Westcott's letters only because she was an exception to the pattern. Her future mate came from a different country and ethnic group. They spent most of their six-year courtship corresponding.
Letter from James R. Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. Received June 28, 1843. Two pages. Letter from James R. Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. Received June 28, 1843. Two pages. (June 28, 1843) by James R. WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
It seems likely that they wrote infrequently-we have, for example, only one letter for the year 1844-possibly because her father insisted that their correspondence be infrequent, but also because their relationship was uncertain for so much of the time.
Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. Dec. 13[?], 1845. Four pages. Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. Dec. 13[?], 1845. Four pages. (December 13, 1845) by Mary WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, New York. May 28, 1845. Four pages. Page 1 of 4. (May 28, 1845) by Mary WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
The Challenges:
Religious Differences
Generally, young people were expected to choose mates of their own faith. The fundamental split in Canada was between Roman Catholicism and the Protestant churches. There was a good deal of suspicion, even hostility, between the two groups. Falling in love with a person of the "wrong religion" could lead to serious familial opposition.
Technically, Roman Catholicism forbade marriage between Roman Catholics and people outside the church. In practice, such marriages happened, if not commonly, and the church turned a blind eye. Aside from his deep emotional reluctance to lose his daughter, James Westcott's fundamental objection to Amédée Papineau's courtship of his daughter Mary was the young man's Roman Catholicism. Amédée's beliefs were conventional, though not impassioned, but Mary was strongly Presbyterian. Mary herself had trouble reconciling the differences in their religious beliefs.
Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. March 6, 1844. Four pages. Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. March 6, 1844. Four pages. (March 6, 1844) by Mary WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
In the end, the problem turned out to be illusory. Mary and Amédée were married in her father's parlour by a Presbyterian minister, without a Roman Catholic dispensation. Their son Louis-Joseph was baptized by Amédée's uncle, the Roman Catholic Curé Bruneau.
Letter from M.A. Westcott to Mary Westcott, Saratoga Springs. May 18, 1845. Four pages. Letter from M.A. Westcott to Mary Westcott, Saratoga Springs. May 18, 1845. Four pages. (May 18, 1845) by M.A. WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
Mary never converted to Roman Catholicism, and their religious differences seem never to have been a problem.
Wedding:
The Day
Once they had straightened out their relationship and received her father's reluctant consent, Mary Westcott and Amédée Papineau settled down to plan their life together. At this point, her letters became highly practical. What upholstery should she choose for their new furniture? How large were the rooms he had chosen? As for the wedding, Mary says that it cannot be until June 18. (Amédée won; they were married on May 20, 1846). Other than the date, her greatest worry is religious: will he be able get a dispensation to marry a non-Roman Catholic? (He lost; the Bishop of New York turned down his request.) If his brother could not attend the wedding as groomsman, did he have a friend who could stand up with him? If not, she would do without a bridesmaid. (His brother Lactance was indeed in attendance.)
Journal entries by Amédée Papineau mentioning Mary Westcott and her family. Tuesday, March 31 to Sunday, April 12, 1846. Microfilm volume 35, p. 47. (March 31 - April 12, 1846) by Louis-Joseph-Amédée PapineauOriginal Source: http://data2.collectionscanada.gc.ca/e/e333/e008316317-v8.jpg
Journal entry by Amédée Papineau mentioning Mary Westcott and her family. Wednesday, May 20, 1846. Microfilm volume 35, p. 53. (May 20, 1846) by Louis-Joseph-Amédée PapineauOriginal Source: http://data2.collectionscanada.gc.ca/e/e333/e008316322-v8.jpg
Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. Jan. 27, 1846. Four pages. Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. Jan. 27, 1846. Four pages. (January 27, 1846) by Mary WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. March 12, 1846. Four pages. Letter from Mary Westcott to Louis-Joseph-Amédée Papineau, Saratoga Springs. March 12, 1846. Four pages. (March 12, 1846) by Mary WestcottLibrary and Archives Canada
Letter from Mary Westcott [Papineau] to James R. Westcott [and M.A. Westcott], Montreal. Thursday, June 4, 1846. Four pages. Letter from Mary Westcott [Papineau] to James R. Westcott [and M.A. Westcott], Montreal. Thursday, June 4, 1846. Four pages. (June 4, 1846) by Mary Westcott PapineauLibrary and Archives Canada
The Couple:
Visits
Marriage moved a couple into a whole new social sphere, one in which their status as a couple received official recognition. This change, especially for the middle class or wealthy, was marked by formal calls and visits.
One reason why James Westcott made his daughter Mary put off her wedding for a year was to allow her time to make a round of farewell visits to her American relatives (JW to LJAP, June 20, 1845). These were not drop-in calls. A visit could easily last for weeks or months, even years. Since travel was difficult before the advent of railroads, it made sense to stay for a while.
Journal entries by Amédée Papineau mentioning Mary Westcott and her family. Wednesday, May 20 to Monday, May 25, 1846. Microfilm volume 35, pp. 54 to 56. Journal entries by Amédée Papineau mentioning Mary Westcott and her family. Wednesday, May 20 to Monday, May 25, 1846. Microfilm volume 35, pp. 54 to 56. (May 20-26, 1846) by Louis-Joseph-Amédée PapineauLibrary and Archives Canada
The Couple:
The Honeymoon
It seems odd to us that the newlyweds Amédée and Mary Papineau took her parents along on the honeymoon, but it did not seem odd to them. Today's conventional honeymoon, in which newlyweds escape to a private place to deepen their intimacy, was not a common feature of 19th-century life. Wedding trips were common for newlyweds with the income to travel. Amédée, his bride and her parents spent two weeks after the wedding travelling through New England. In Greenbush, New York, the party toured an armoury with some 90,000 muskets and saw a 40-horsepower steam engine. Amédée was much impressed with the new telegraph system he saw in Massachusetts. James Westcott and his son-in-law went sightseeing and shopping in Boston, where Amédée bought a $450 rosewood Chickering piano for his bride, to be shipped to Montréal. The party went on to New Hampshire, staying in Concord and Conway and sightseeing in the White Mountains, before finishing up in Burlington, Vermont, on June 1.
The next day, the party broke up; Amédée and Mary took an overnight steamer for home and the Westcotts headed back to Saratoga Springs.
Further Research
Related Sites
Canadian Historical Association Booklets. Library and Archives Canada.
www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/cha-shc/index-e.html
(accessed May 1, 2008)
The Charivari. Canadian Poetry.
www.canadianpoetry.ca/longpoems/Charivari/index.htm (accessed May 1, 2008)
"Epidemic". The Canadian Encyclopedia.
www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?PgNm
=TCE&Params=A1ARTA0002629
Marriage and Divorce. The Canadian Encyclopedia.
www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?PgNm
=TCE&Params=A1ARTA0005119
(accessed May 1, 2008)
Images in the News. Canadian Illustrated News, 1869-1883. Library and Archives Canada.
http://www.bac-lac.gc.ca/eng/discover/canadian-illustrated-news-1869-1883/Pages/canadian-illustrated-news.aspx
(accessed May 1, 2008)
"Life in England." Susanna Moodie and Catharine Parr Traill. Library and Archives Canada.
www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/moodie-traill/
027013-3000-e.html
(accessed May 1, 2008)
"More than a Kindred Spirit?" First Among Equals: The Prime Minister in Canadian Life and Life and Politics. Library and Archives Canada.
www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/primeministers/
h4-2315-e.html
(accessed May 1, 2008)
A Yukon Romance: Claude and Mary Tidd.
www.yukonromance.ca/en/index.php?topNav=hom
(accessed May 1, 2008)
Valentine's Day: Love and Romance Through the Ages. Virtual Museum Canada.
www.virtualmuseum.ca/Exhibitions/Valentin/English/
index.php3
(accessed May 1, 2008)
The Virtual Gramophone: Canadian Historical Sound Recordings. Library and Archives Canada.
www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/gramophone/index-e.html
(accessed May 1, 2008)
Sheet Music from Canada's Past. Library and Archives Canada.
www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/sheetmusic/index-e.html
(accessed May 1, 2008)
Susanna Moodie and Catharine Parr Traill. Library and Archives Canada.
www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/moodie-traill/index-e.html
(accessed May 1, 2008)
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