Disconsolateness

"The Apotheosis of War" speaks to me in a way that is morbid, yet true. We all have the skeletons in our closet, but what happens when they begin to pile up? Lost friends, scorned relationships, wrongdoings to others, hopelessness, lack of direction, etc. This artwork represents all the problems in my life beginning to 'come to a head'.
"No Exit" initially struck me as a very similar portrait to Thom Yorke. Turns out, it is a merged picture and painting, with the figure actually being Thom Yorke. The artist describes this artwork as the way we must look, living our lives, stuck in the daily routine. Following "The Apotheosis of War", all my problems are coupled by my suffering of the mundane life -- the repetitive motions of school, different and neverending part-time jobs, same boring food, same boring life. I had abandoned the only dream I ever had... There was 'no exit' from this lifestyle.
Over time, my life had become darker and bleaker, with only a small bit of light left. "Moonlit Night on the Dniepr" is a great work to exemplify the visual of feeling like everything surrounding you is darkness, with the dream of one day attaining the light -- the moon, impossible to attain or reach by mere determination.
With everything becoming so dark, and hope seeming out of reach, "Become Dark" represents the 'grass is always greener' idea. Due to a stroke of luck, I was able to attain a semblance to work in my dream job. On the other side of the trees in this work, the shadows are only existing because of the light. Meaning, to me, that if one could feel truly miserable, then one could inevitably feel truly wonderful.
So imagine waking up and realizing there was a lion in your bed like in "Unexpected Awakening". Literally, it would be horrifying. However, in a figurative sense, waking up to find 'the beast' is not only the outside world, but in your own home, is an even more frightening thing. This artwork represents my recent realization that I am unhappy where I am, for many reasons, and that maybe the best place to start and work on my dream isn't here , but elsewhere.
The location I got to work on my dream job was in Georgia, so I wanted to choose a work that featured Georgia. "Landscape with Haymakers and a Distant View of a Georgian House" was the only artwork I could find that was a representation of the state, and it's a beautiful piece of art. I really loved Georgia, and I also loved that it had opportunities for me to finally pursue what truly makes me happy. I decided I would move to Georgia in the new year.
I was not afraid of many of things I would be leaving behind. Things like past jobs, past friends, past experiences, etc. Those were things I could do without, and would prefer a new beginning elsewhere. Of course, I would also miss my family tremendously. However, the artwork "Sadness" represents someone else I feel reluctant to leave behind -- my lover. This artwork shows that, while a sad woman can be beautiful, sadness dulls the colors from life, distinctly hers and mine if I leave.
I chose the artwork "Kiss IV" with my lover in mind. One of her favorite artists and poets is Edvard Munch, she even has a tattoo to prove it. Beyond that, this artwork so delicately reminds me of some of the little things we mutually loved. The wooden texture with black characters is very Japonisme, and she and I both had an affinity and love for the Japanese culture. The blackness of the two figures represents that darkness of having to leave behind a lover, to give a kiss farewell.
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