John & Mary

This digital story was created by Denetta as part of The Making of Black Britain.

John & Mary
What can you know from a 2- dimensional picture?
You didn’t even give it to me.
I took it from my Mum’s house when she died.
I have had it in my bedroom next to her ashes ever since.
Staring t this photograph,
I imagine how your voice sounded.
I imagine how you smelt.
I imagine how different things could have been.
If you had just accepted me.
Loved me.
You rejected me with prejudice.
You rejected my sisters before me.
You never once laid eyes on me.
You never held me in your arms.
You never spoke to your daughter again.
All because of the colour of my skin.
An abomination to the lord.
Was there even a space in your heart that I should have been?
Or did you give it away to a white human being?
You were the 1st people to show me racism.
And I wasn’t even born yet.
I now have a Grandson, I wonder how you could do this.
How you could go through life knowing I existed.
And refusing to acknowledge me as part of your bloodline.
I try to imagine never setting eyes on my Grandson
But I can’t. His smile warms my heart.
Maybe I could have given you something to smile about
But you never gave me the chance.