My Love for the Maasai's

My name is Stephanie and I am a 34 year old conservationist from Germany, residing in Tanzania. I am married to a Maasai warrior and we have a four year old son.

I came to the Maasai out of love for my husband and stayed not only for him, but for his beautiful community, his culture, his people, who have become my people too in the eight years that I have lived with them. I met Sokoine in January 2011 on Mafia Island, off the coast of Tanzania, where I was working for a conservation organisation. I met him the first day on the island and thought him to be beautiful from the second I set eyes on him.

It was my idea to move to his traditional Maasai home, in the midst of the Tanzanian bush, because I saw it as the only way for us to be able to stay together. The decision was easy, but adapting to the Maasai way of life was not. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, but as is so often the case, it was also one of the best.

The Maasai are wonderful people, full of love and life and kindness and they have given me so much. All that I am, I have become because of them and this is me sharing with the world, the amazing beauty and wisdom I have found amongst them.

This is when I am happiest, surrounded by my husband's beautiful community. When I am in the midst of these wonderful people nothing else matters. The world seems to stand still and I am absorbed in their voices, their laughter, their touch. These are moments that I cherish as a way to get closer to them, they are minutes of truth where I learn more about them and also about myself. These are the times when I ask myself how I all the love and trust they shower me with every new day.

These are the moments where they show me that they have taken me in as one of them. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but somehow they have let me into their world. And I am forever in awe of them, I am forever grateful to them. Because they have shown me that there is so much beauty in humanity. They have shown me that humans are capable of love, kindness and generosity without expecting anything in return.

Often I get asked if it was difficult adapting to the Maasai way of life. And of course it was. There were many moments where I thought about packing my bags and leaving. Often I felt lonely and misunderstood and when I cried my husband would get upset, as crying in Maasai culture is really only acceptable when someone has died. We hardly ever were by ourselves together during the day as Maasai men are used to being surrounded by other Maasai men. We could never eat alone, just Sokoine and I. There would always be his friends and brothers.

We argued often but I always took a step back and reassessed and many times it was my struggles to adjust that caused the argument. So I made a promise to myself that I would try harder to adapt. I knew there were only two choices: adapt or leave. And I knew that I did not want to go back to Germany. I loved my husband and I loved his beautiful beautiful tribe and his wonderful family who took me in as one of them.

I stayed because I fought a thousand tiny battles with myself and always came out on the other side as a stronger, more confident person. I stayed out of love and now all the struggles that I faced have turned into a great blessing.

From being married to a Maasai men, I learned that women are seen to be below men in Maasai society. There is a strict division between the genders and women are given very little decision making power. My marriage made me see that us women always give so much more than men. We give up so much of ourselves in order to make a nice home for our husbands, in order to raise our children. We always put ourselves last, and often we are not appreciated enough for it.

Ever since I became a wife and mother, I also became a feminist, a defender of women's right and a voice for the struggles we face. If there was one advice I could give my fellow women, it would be to always remember who you are and to never live your life for someone else. Marriage is no guarantee for happiness. It is no guarantee for love. Love comes in many different shapes and sizes. Follow your heart and do what you love - this is what will make you truly happy.

I think for many women in the western world, the fact that we get monthly periods is not a big deal. Something that I never even gave a lot of thought to - before I started living with the Maasai. Maasai women traditionally don't use anything during their menses. They might wear an extra cloth or use leaves or rags. Having their period is something that causes them issues. Having their periods is something that brings them shame.

There is a big stigma around it and they cannot openly talk about it. It causes them to feel worried, worried that there might be a stain on their cloth.
They don't feel free and empowered as many of us western ladies feel. Nowadays many Maasai girls go to school yet they miss days because they stay at home during their menses. Others sell themselves in exchange for period products.

What many of us take for granted is making others miserable. Access to period products is a privilege that many women don't have. This is why I started our project with women from our community where we sew our own reusable sanitary kits and distribute them to women from our village. I am honoured and grateful to be working with these amazing women. And it is a privilege.

We were on the way to a ceremony. And we were in full Maasai dress, a couple of my husband's female relatives and myself. The ladies had adorned themselves with 'Olkaria', a bright red earth that the Maasai mix with oil to lather their skin with it. They had it on their necks and shoulders and they told me how they thought I should also have some. I agreed and so one of them stuck their finger in the colour on her shoulder and tapped it to both my cheeks. I had two red splashes of colour on my face. As we got to the boma where the ceremony was starting we met a few warriors or 'Moran' in the Maa language.

They were happy to see me join them for the ceremony and were admiring our dress. One of them though said: 'Kanyoo eata tolseteri! 'What do you have on your cheeks?' And I said 'Olkaria'. He then said: 'Shee! Eto pai abarake apeeki' 'Well, but you did not put it on properly'. He then came towards me, took his cloth to wipe the colour from my cheeks and then dipped a ring he had on his finger into the Olkaria on his shoulder. He then gently pressed the ring to both my cheeks and I ended up with two evenly-shaped Maasai tribal rings ('Oldiloi') on my cheeks.

He checked his work and told me that now I was ready for the ceremony. I beamed at him and thanked him and rejoined the women from my family.

What a beautiful human being he is. This young man who took it upon himself to make me into a proper Maasai. How much love and acceptance he showed me with this sweet gesture. What a soul he must have to care about me in this way.

Maasai warriors or 'Moran' is the name of an age group within Maasai society. The 'Moran' have transitioned from boyhood to manhood by having undergone circumcision. Moran are responsible for finding pastures and water for the cattle and for defending their land against intruders. They are also responsible for their family's safety and wellbeing. Maasai boys are generally circumcised when they are between 13 and 18 years old and they continue being warriors for usually around 16-18 years, after which a new generation of boys are initiated into warriorhood. Then, the current warriors become junior elders.

This here is one of my brother-in-laws who became a warrior in 2013, 5 years before this picture was taken. He is being decorated with Olkaria, a red-earth paste by one of his fellow warriors. Only warriors are allowed to wear the 'Oldeka', the long warrior hair which consists of cotton threads that are braided into the top hair. They also wear an array of beaded jewellery.
The Moran are proud and fierce and pride themselves, both for being brave and for being beautiful.

Many people who come to visit the Maasai believe them to be poor. They think they are poor because they live in mud huts, they think they are poor because their children play in the sand, they believe them to be poor because they don't have a lot of clothes and possessions. But they are wrong. They are wrong because they project their idea of 'poverty' onto a completely different culture. The Maasai are not poor, they are very rich.

They are rich in land, in culture and in family. They live close to nature, they live off the land, they are proud of their beautiful ancient customs and traditions and they live in a society where family ties are very important. They are self-sufficient and hold a rich knowledge on the sustainable use of what nature gives them.

Richness is not materialistic things. Richness is a life lived with pride and dignity and kindness. Richness is holding on to what you believe to be right. Richness is having the courage to defend your indigenous way of life. Richness is valuing nature before things.
From what the Maasai have taught me, I believe richness to be a life lived in the service of our planet and in the service of people who are less fortunate than us.

The Maasai are one of our planet's last remaining indigenous communities. They have for centuries now, resisted modernisation and the encroach of foreign cultures into their lands. While in certain ways they have been successful in doing so, in other ways, they were incapable of denying certain changes coming from the outside world.

Now I live with one of the most beautiful people of our planet, with one of our world's last indigenous communities and I am learning every day from them. They teach me how to be a better person, they teach me what to value and what not, and they teach me how to live in harmony with nature and how to preserve the environment that is given to us. And in return, I get to be a voice for them. As guardians of East Africa's wild spaces. As conservationists.