Incwadi Yothando: The Secret Love Language of Beads

Complex beaded “love letter” panel necklaces in Zulu society played a fundamental role in ritual courtship at a distance. Young girls crafted “love letters,”  to send to their potential suitors in order to attract the attention of young men who worked away. With the beaded “love letters,” young women could craft secret messages of love to a prospective suitor using colors and patterns understood only by the two of them.

It was considered a sign of great prestige if a male received multiple “love letters” sent from multiple young women, serving as a source of pride for his families and for himself among his peers.

Incwadi Yothando Ucu or Ubhala Abuyise means ‘one writes in order that the other should reply'.

There is a misconception that every piece of beadwork is decipherable in the same way as written correspondence. However, the Zulu ‘love letter has a symbolic message associated with
certain types of beaded necklaces.

At the beginning of the courtship between a young girl and boy after they have agreed to become involved with each other, the girl might start with an ucu (simple necklace) made of two strings of twisted white beads to which she attaches one beaded white ring, signifying she is a virgin.

Color carries great symbolism for example a green ring means a  very young has nonetheless  accepted proposal. As the relationship progressesd she would another ring to show her love evolving.

As soon as the man receives this kind of necklace, he will go home to hang up a white handkerchief as a symbol showing that he is in love. The girl does not give it to the man herself, this is all done via the older sister (iqhikiza).

A woman's second love letter features an abundance of red beads and a sprinkling of other colors, symbolizing longing/ At this point, the young man will remove the white handkerchief and replace it with a red one as a gesture of reciprocation.

With Zulu men frequently away, "love letters" evolved into communication tools for married couples, not just potential partners. Some letters included alphabetic beads, possibly influenced by colonialism as English literacy was taught in missionary schools.

These changing “love letter” practices can in part be explained by the changing traditional family structure resulting from migrant work and provides a window in time to understand historical changes that transformed beadwork to meet social conditions.

Communication through beads was widely used by many spheres of Zulu society, an ethnic group notoriously known for speaking in few words. Love letters remain one of the traditions still practiced, yet not to the extent as it used to be.

While some love letters are easily readable with their colours and patterns, many remain a mystery to everyone except the two communicators.