Freedom & Respect: Sex-Positive Parties

The connection between sex and club culture goes all the way back to the disco era. When the ban on same-sex pairs dancing was overturned after the Stonewall riots of 1969 and the Gay Pride movement grew, numerous gay bars opened in New York where sex parties were held more or less openly.

David Mancuso's loft parties were legendary. In this apartment, a crowd with the widest variety of sexual orientations, ethnicities, and social classes gathered together to dance to a mix of soul, so-called Phillysound, funk, and Latin-American music. With Paradise Garage and Studio 54, the biggest trendsetting clubs of the time opened in New York.

After the genre became popular thanks to white protagonists like Giorgio Moroder, the Bee Gees, and John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, disco was loved by the mainstream. Under the homophobic slogan Disco Sucks, an anti-disco movement was formed which culminated in the Disco Demolition Night in 1979. Disco went back to the gay underground.

Darkrooms have been a part of many gay clubs since the 1970s. Nowadays they're no longer just reserved for gay men: sex-positive parties allow people of all sexual orientations to take part in openly dealing with their own sexuality, which was previously only practiced at queer and fetish parties.

The term sex-positive was coined over 30 years ago by a US feminist movement which positioned itself against the argument that pornography was in and of itself an expression of patriarchal sexual control, and wanted to introduce a new era of freedom of female sexuality—pro sex, contra sexism.

Today's sex-positive raves have also come out of this tradition. The most important rule: no means no, and personal limits are accepted and respected without question. Sex is allowed and desired everywhere. But those who just want to be inspired by the music, art and atmosphere can do so without any annoying flirting.

Sex-positive parties are therefore not your traditional sex or swinger parties. They're about self-realization, sexual freedom, and the desire for safer(r) spaces without hate or discrimination. They also involve an esthetic and artistic appreciation of sexuality.

Probably the best known parties of this type are organized by the collective Pornceptual in Berlin. Founders Raquel Fedato and Chris Phillips wanted to convey sexual self-determination far apart from the norms set by gender stereotypes through an artistic confrontation with sexuality and pornography—queer, diverse, and feminist.

In 2011, art blog Pornceptual was started with the goal of redefining the idea of pornography and casting it in a positive light. Two years later they started their sex-positive event series Pornceptual. Today this event is one of the best established sex-positive raves in Germany.

While some sex-positive parties reject labels, others explicitly focus on a queer crowd, are directed towards the fetish and BDSM community, or follow a motto. This variety of sex-positive parties hasn't existed for very long: after trailblazers like Berghain or KitKatClub, Pornceptual were pioneers who wanted to separate themselves from typical sex parties.

In 2015 the sex-positive collective poly|motion arrived in Berlin. Meanwhile, sex-positive parties have also been established outside Berlin: in Hamburg two new sex-positive event series have joined Kinky Sundays, which first started in 2018. In Leipzig, the sex-positive Vertigo was restarted in 2019 after a three-year hiatus.

The fact that the German scene is mainly focused on Berlin is partially due to the city's diverse club culture. Another factor could be the nudist culture which especially took root in the states that formerly made up the German Democratic Republic. Nudity in Germany is generally less of a taboo, less sexualized, and most importantly less criminalized than in most other countries.

However, Pornceptual didn't just want to exist in the Berlin techno bubble. They deliberately organized their sex-positive raves in different cities and countries. In 2019, they hosted a stage at Melt Festival with erotic performances, drag and voguing shows, artistic pornography—and their first-ever darkroom at a festival.

Aside from the fact they want to celebrate the queer subculture in the mainstream, the creators also aim to create a space of sexual freedom for all identities, sexual preferences, and fetishes.

An awareness concept is essential, however. Awareness here refers to an alertness to situations where a person's limits are overstepped. The goal is to allow all people to feel as comfortable, free and safe as possible when partying, regardless of gender, sexual identity, skin color, origin, appearance, and physical ability.

At poly|motion, awareness teams patrol the club at all times, keep watch for critical situations so they can intervene if needed, and are available to talk to for anyone who feels uncomfortable or has been discriminated against or harassed. The code of conduct for guests is based on mutual respect and hung up in the club for all to see.

Event organizers know that being sex-positive also means taking responsibility. To make the spaces as safe as possible, parties are not allowed to become mass events. The more guests at an event, the greater the probability that a proportion of them won't follow the required rules.

Event organizers also have to make sure that sex-positive parties don't lose their status as protected spaces for the marginalized groups they originated from by being open to all sexual orientations. Sex-positive parties aren't allowed to sell out.

Sex has therefore made it from the darkroom to the dance floor—a challenge to club culture against outdated societal norms and conventions. With their increasing popularity, sex-positive parties are seen as a new pillar of club culture in the medium term. A desirable step in the right direction in terms of openness, tolerance, and sexual freedom.