A Stone on My Heart

A personal story about separation migration and change

Coloured Decorations being washed away in A Stone in My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

Synopsis

Having lived away from her family in England for fourteen years, the film maker returns to India for her younger brother's arranged marriage.  As the wedding preparations proceed, she discovers her parents' plans and expectations for her future and comes face to face with her own inability to fulfil them.  This is a personal story about a family coming to terms with separation, but a universal story about the effects of migration and change.

Adam Suschitzky Cinematography in A Stone on My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

Film Facts

YEAR OF PRODUCTION: 1996
LENGTH: 27 Mins
SCREEN RATIO:  1:1.66  
COLOUR OR B&W: Colour
SOUND:  opt mono

Enjoy Images and a reflection on the making of the film by its Director Preeya Lal, below.

Preeya and her Aunt in A Stone on My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

When I was 14 years old, the British government passed a law stating that British nationals living overseas needed to be residents in the Uk for 3 years, in order to qualify for university education so I left India at age 15 to live with my very unconventional aunt.

Preeya's parents looking at hold photographs in A Stone in My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

She opened up a very different perspective on life for me, but as a young woman I still felt that I was really caught between two cultures. My parents had long been wanting me to get married, an idea to which I had been very resistant but it was a constant  pressure which

Preeya at a Ceremony in A Stone on My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

weighed heavily on me  so inspired by previous film-makers at NFTS , I returned to India to make a personal film about my family. The occasion, my brother’s wedding was a charged one as I was the older daughter expected to marry first. 

Dick Fontaine by NFTSNational Film and Television School

Since there was already a tradition of making personal films, the school understood my desire to do so, and Dick Fontaine (pictured) who had just that year become Head of Documentary and Henning Camre then Head of the school, were both extremely supportive. 

An NFTS 16mm Camera 2 (2020) by Duncan BruceNational Film and Television School

Organizing the shoot was a logistical nightmare, requiring special permission from the Indian government to shoot in India, as well as clearance from the airlines to carry 80 kilos of excess baggage as we were filming on 16mm and were carrying all our equipment with us.

Preeya in A Stone on My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

Stylistically, there were many decisions to make. I decided to appear in front of the camera which meant I would be directing myself. I’m normally quite a reticent person, and this combined with the subject matter, made it a pretty stressful shoot.  

Preeya's Mother in A Stone on My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

One scene in particular stands out in my mind.  Sitting on the sofa with my mother, having that conversation about my aunt.  I remember how nervous I was before shooting this scene – then came that revelation from my mother about motherhood something I understood only years later when I became a mother myself. 

Preeya and her Aunt at a Ceremony in A Stone on My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

A Stone on My Heart End Credits Score
00:00

Watching the film, I see the anger and conflict in the young woman who was me, and I feel for her. Dario Marianelli’s music complements the complex emotions in the film beautifully. Andy Loftus was invaluable in the editing room as I had no distance from the  material whatsoever. Dario Marianelli speaks about the music below.

Preeya Lal & Murali Nair in A Stone in My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

I invited the only Indian person I knew in the Indian industry to be my sound recordist, the film-maker Murali Nair. We grew close during the shoot, and when I left India, he gave me his ring with the hair from the tail of an elephant. 

We began to write to each other. He came to visit me in London and stayed.  A few months later when his visa ran out, we married. So on a personal level, the film released many things inside me, and enabled me to embark on the next stage of my life. We set up our company Flying Elephant Films the week my daughter was born, and ran it together for 20 years.

Preeya Lal & Murali Nair 2 in A Stone in My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

He won Camera d’ Or at Cannes for his first feature which I produced, we returned to India with our two daughters where we lived for 10 years and also ran our charity Art for Change.  

Preeya and her Mother in A Stone in My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

I taught film-making to all kinds of people: nomadic tribes, women in Nepal, farmers.  I lived for 10 years next door to my mum in a flat facing the lake where we filmed ‘A Stone on my Heart’. Now I’m back in London.  Life moves in circles. 

While living in India. I screened the film to a group of young university students and was surprised to find that the parental expectations and pressures I had faced as a young woman had not gone away.

Preeya and Family in A Stone in My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

In making this film, I began a journey to find my authentic self, a journey that I’m still on. 

The family is the place where we learn everything about the world, and we carry the imprint of those early childhood experiences all through life in our interaction with people. As a young woman, I ran as far as I could from what felt like control. 

Director Preeya Lal in A Stone on My Heart (1996) by Preeya LalNational Film and Television School

It took a long time to understand that the tools to free myself were internal. It’s great to have this film as a record of who I was, and recognize the chance it gave me to grow. Thank you NFTS.

Enjoy A Stone on My Heart, below.

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